Big Reveal Anniversary

Today marks the one year anniversary of my Big Reveal:

It has been a life changing year. I have moved to Los Angeles, a place where image is everything and truth is the exception, not the rule. It has been incredibly freeing, but also scary, to live as my true self and not hide of apologize for who I am or what I look like. None of this has been easy and I still struggle with this at times when my self doubt and insecurities run high.

I was open about this as a child and in highschool, but this has been the first year that I have been open about this as a burlesque figure. Burlesque is so rooted in image and glamour. Yes, it’s empowering but it can be hard to see and feel that sometimes when you’re backstage or perusing Instagram. Just like you, I can get lost in the portrayed perfection of another and I can get down on myself. I start to feel insecure and wonder if what I’m doing will be accepted. In the midst of those feelings, I still step out on stage, because in the end, I will always believe that beauty is truth. I have taught that to my students for over a decade, but I think it’s always harder for the teacher to teach themselves. Well, trust that I have been in class every day, showing up to learn new lessons and even learn the same lessons over and over. Repetition is key!

On the health note, I’ve had some hair growth and I’ve also had some loss. I feel like I’m only allowed a certain number of hairs on my head at one time. If one spot grows in, then I will lose hair some where else. It’s like whac-a-mole. While it is still frustrating and I still get down about it, I have more good days than bad, emotionally speaking. What’s strange is that my hair style is so on trend. I’ve NEVER been on trend or even cared about that. I see some ladies with the same cut as me and a lot of dudes! It’s kinda funny. Who knew alopecia would be so hot right now?!

Thank you for an incredible year of support and love! Can’t wait to see what this year brings!

 

 

 

Los Angeles and Beyond

I’ve got a big week coming up and I hope you’ll join me, in the flesh or virtually!

First, I’ll be premiering my show, Pretty Funny, at Three Clubs in Hollywood on August 15th. It has top talent stand up comedians, burlesque and bellydance! It is going to be fun and funny! Get your tickets now!

Then, I will be celebrating 2 years with my fan club on Patreon. Over the past 2 years, I have been able to share photos and videos that I am not allowed to share on any other social media platforms. It has really allowed me to experiment with different ideas that aren’t all necessarily burlesque, but are all sensual/erotic or even completely ridiculous and funny. It has been an awesome creative outlet and I’m so happy to share it with my fans, who are THE BEST, by the way. I’m grateful to Patreon for allowing me to truly be ‘The Most Naked Woman’! Join the club now and get access to the archives and see all new photos and videos every month!

In teaching news, I am 5 students away from my goal on Studio L’amour online. Here you can learn burlesque from anywhere in the world. I upload new videos every month that cover technique (burlesque and ballet based), fitness, choreography and my real talks, where you ask that questions. Once I reach 50 students, I will reward my online students with a special interview with burlesque legend, Kitten Natividad! Register now and get access to a year’s worth of videos and all new material this month!

And finally, if you are in the LA area, I am now teaching regular weekly classes at Fit and Bendy Studios. You can join me on Tuesdays for Tease ‘n’ Tone and Burlesque Basics.

See you around town or online!

Truly Naked

Since my Big Reveal in January, I have been through a LOT of transition. I won’t get into the nitty gritty details, but it all culminates with me moving to Los Angeles. I have wanted to be out here for a long time, since high school actually. From not getting the encouragement that I needed at the time, to building up quite a business in Chicago, it didn’t make sense for me to leave, but there was always that pull. Things are still great in Chicago and I still work and produce there but I came out west to keep pushing myself. I’ve never done a move so big before, so there is a lot to get used to, but so far, I am loving it.

In addition to transitioning to a new city, I’m also transitioning to a new performance life. I have a new perspective on things and I’ve been performing more and more without my wig. I feel my best when I am able to be myself. I know wigs are just an accessory and you can still be yourself with them, but for me, they carry something different. They make me feel inauthentic. I know this feeling is due to my bad experience with them as a child (hair falling off during a rousing game of duck-duck-goose) but I can’t shake it, and I’m not sure I want to.

I’m enjoying this new freedom but it’s also hard to navigate in a city that is so image conscious. Sure, walking around as I am, people seem to dig the look, but then it’s time to perform. Things run through my head like, ‘will they accept me like this?’ ‘do I need to meet their expectations?’ ‘what about my expectations?’ ‘what about the producer’s expectations?’ and so on. It’s kind of a spiral of indecision and self doubt that starts to well up right before a show.

The thing is that I know I can sell the shit out of this look if I’m doing a hard edged act. It make sense. Where I start to panic, is in the selling of ‘glamour’. Can I wear feathers and sparkles and still be ‘burlesque’? What does it all mean?! (I have much more to say on these topics but I’ll get to those in another post.)

I want to share with you the first time I performed without a wig. This was at Lucha Va Voom in Los Angeles. It was also the premiere of a brand new act, so, ya know, no pressure!

Please enjoy ‘Leatherette’.

Well, that made me feel GOOD! That was back in February and now it’s August.  I just recently performed with Lucha again and this great article came out on Blurred Culture.

I think that you are ready to accept me. And Los Angeles seems ready to accept me. The only question is if I am ready to accept me. The answer is yes. I’m ready.

52 Days of Beauty

Every year at this time, I turn my focus to beauty. As you know, I believe that beauty is truth and we need more truth in this world! The world is crazy and can seem overwhelmingly negative. It is in this time that we should turn to beauty to inspire us. I want to encourage you to post something everyday that you find beautiful. It can be a painting, a sculpture, a piece of music, dance, video, anything! Use the hashtag #52daysofbeauty and #floodtheinternetwithbeauty and #churchofbeauty. I want to see what you find beautiful! Let’s use our voices to create positivity rather than trying to destroy the negative. Those things may have the same outcome but they are very different approaches. I hope that you will join me in the beauty crusade!

Learn more at https://thechurchofbeauty.com/