First of all, my thanks for the huge amount of support and love you’ve shown me since the Big Reveal. I’m so touched to have fans as beautiful as you!
Second, I’m heading to Los Angeles to premiere a brand NEW act at Lucha Va Voom on Feb 14th and 15th! This will be the first time that I will perform with my natural hair! I’m so excited and I can’t wait to share video with you, or do it for you in person if you’re in the area. I hope you are!
This first post is my reveal about my struggle with alopecia areata. It is an autoimmune disease where my body attacks my hair follicles and causes my hair to fall out. There is not one known cause (there are MANY triggers) and there is not a cure. I have been to so many doctors and am working so hard to find the root cause of this. Diet has been a tremendous factor for me, as well as lifestyle changes like taking up yoga and acupuncture and not having bourbon!
It has been very emotional for me and I have hidden this from so many people. I just recently started telling my friends about it within the last year. It has helped me to talk about it with them but I developed a growing need to share it with the public. I thought that if I have to go through this, then I may as well help inspire others. I want my struggle to serve a purpose. Even if you do not have alopecia, or any other autoimmune disease, I know that you have felt the feelings I have felt. The feeling that you have to hide something for others to accept you. I want you to know that you are not alone. In talking about this, I hope to create an open dialog for people like me and you. To say that even though the pictures on social media are carefree, there’s a lot going on behind that smile. And that’s ok! It’s ok to talk about that too! Let those moments shape you, but not rule and define you.
I think we can all agree that 2017 was a challenging year. Seems that everyone I spoke with expressed the stress that 2017 brought with it. Politics and economic uncertainty aside, I think 2017 carried many personal struggles for us. I am no different. This was an incredibly difficult year for me personally. I struggled with health issues (things that I will reveal to you later) and it really consumed my life. I lost myself this year. But I also found myself. I will not be the one to say ‘Fuck 2017’ because 2017 taught me a lot. I am grateful for the pain because I learned so much through it. I feel I have a new wealth of knowledge about myself. I have greater compassion and understanding for others. I was forced to practice what I preach. I really put my beliefs to the test and I have come out the other side just in time to welcome a new year.
2018 will bring change and I am open to it. I am open to new possibilities and opportunities. I am excited about pursuing myself and my dreams. I’m heading into this year with gratitude and an open heart. I can’t say that I have ever done that before. It is a new feeling for me and I like it.
I want to encourage you to start the year with gratitude. It is difficult, I know, but it is possible. Think about the year as a whole and not as a bunch of unattainable resolutions. Consider what you might want this year. It can be material, emotional, spiritual, or physical. Think about what attributes you need to nurture to get to those goals. I call it a theme of the year. And my themes this year are to pursue fun, joy, beauty, truth and inspiration. To be honest, fun and joy are the most difficult for me. I spend most of my time creating fun and joy for others that I forget to experience that myself. To be REALLY honest, having fun and experiencing joy makes me feel uncomfortable. Slightly unhinged. Out of control. Not something I’m proud to admit, but it is the truth. I have put systems in place that will allow me to shed some of my feelings of obligations and responsibility to make room for joy. I will prioritize it, which is something I never do. It will feel awkward and strange to me, but I’m ready to have fun!
I truly wish you all the best this year. Sometimes the best has to come out of the worst, but that makes it all the better. Happy New Year!